Phallus Fest 2007

But more on that in a minute.

This weekend was actually a lot of fun and packed full of a good amount of social activity. This was the first of two weekends that I have left with the people in the program here, so I really wanted to make sure I took advantage of it – and I think I did a good job of it.

Friday:

Friday night (after I spent most of the afternoon in Shinjuku-gyoen napping under the cherry blossoms – heavenly!) we decided to go and meet our Japanese friend Saya at an Izakaya. An Izakaya is a great establishment here in Japan – it’s a mix between a bar and a restaurant, but they serve only small finger foods at really cheap prices. I hadn’t actually been to one yet here, so I was excited to go. The place was really neat – all six of us sat in one of the traditional Japanese rooms (albeit, not correctly – evidently, as I have aged I have lost the ability to sit “Indian style”, a position that all children can do, but now I can’t do for more than four seconds at a time without pulling some ligament or something.) The Japanese room was actually neat because it was a large, open area with a bunch of other tables of Japanese people in it, so it was very loud and social.

Of course, the best part of the entire night was the touch-screen ordering system you used when you wanted food or a drink. So cool! Anyways, after a while the Japanese people around us had gotten quite drunk and once they noticed the group of six foreigners and a Japanese girl sitting close by, it was only a matter of time before they joined us. We met a few very interesting personalities throughout the night:

Yoshi: Yoshi knew about six words of English, including “Ya mon!” and “Cool dude!” that he pretty much repeated over and over again the entire night.

The pantomime guy: I don’t think this guy ever told us his name, but what he did do was stand up repeatedly and go “I AM PANTOMIME” and proceed to do some sort of pantomime trick, whether it be grabbing an imaginary rope attached the wall or being trapped in some sort of box.

The flasher: This other guy at the same table as the pantomime guy thought that us foreigners would love to see him show us his chest repeatedly, so he kept on flashing us and started hysterically laughing afterwards.

Though they were crazy, it was actually a lot of fun – the camaraderie that these types of places force is really absent in the United States. If people go up randomly to other tables in the U.S., rarely are they received well. But here, everybody is extremely friendly (perhaps a product of the sake, but who knows) and easy-going in general. I’m going to miss that.

Saturday:

Yesterday we pretty much did Hanami all day at Shinjuku-gyoen, and again, we made some more unexpected Japanese friends. These guys were just as nutty, but had three animal costumes that they were more than happy to give us to wear. Bernadette was the tiger, Chelsea was the cow, and Emily was the hamster. Then they gave me some ridiculously small Elvis costume (see picture) that I really barely fit into. Of course, this caused quite a commotion among the millions of Japanese people at the park (they love Elvis here) and I am certainly going to be on no less than 50,000 Japanese people’s digital cameras (and hopefully family photo albums) for some time to come. We also tried (key word, tried) to learn this abstract Japanese game they play at picnics where everybody has to name each station on the main Yamanote subway line (in order) and if you mess up, you’re out of the game. The sad thing is I can pretty much name them all (what else is there to do on the train while you are being sandwiched between two businessman than memorize the train map – jeez!) much to the surprise of our friends. Must have been quite a sight – a foreigner, dressed as Elvis, nonetheless – screaming out the names of stations in front of thousands of people. Osaki! Shinagawa! Tamachi!

Sunday:

You thought that the other two days were intense, wait until you hear about this. I must put a disclaimer in at this point in the entry to protect any children reading this. The following descriptions are rated PG-13 (perhaps even R) so proceed with caution.

Today, a group of about ten of us from the dorm, went to the Kawasaki Festival of the Phallus (or, crudely, the “Iron Penis Fest”). Let me explain. This festival supposedly dates back to the 1600s when they used it as a way to fend off syphilis from the many prostitutes that lived in Kawasaki at the time. There was a young girl at the time that was supposedly “possessed by demons” uh…down there…and the demons…down there…would bite off any penises that tried to enter. So the Japanese, being crafty as they are, fended off the demons by using an iron clad one that broke the demon’s teeth and thus freed the town of this wretched curse (true story – LOOK IT UP).

These days, the festival has lost all religious and spiritual significance and is pretty much a festival praising the penis. The events that I will describe are NOT part of any April’s Fools Joke, I assure you. Just look at the pictures and see for yourself.

We got there right in time for the parade. There was a huge mob of people gushing down the street – men dressed in robes (with no pants, of course), women in kimonos, children (poor children…), you name it. Then came the floats. The first float was a huge wooden structure housing, yes, the very same iron-clad penis they used in the 1600s. It was spectacularly huge. The fifty or so people carrying it were all screaming some word in unison (I think its better that I didn’t find out what it was) as they marched down the street. Then came a second float with a smaller iron specimen (and by smaller I mean closer to human sized). Then came the third float, which pretty much blew the previous two out of the water – a giant (and when I say giant I mean like 10 feet tall giant) neon pink penis carried by twenty or so transvestite men. They actually named it "Pinku" (Pink) in Japanese. I am not making this up. No more words are needed.

And this wasn’t just like a drunk Japanese man event – old women and men were parading around and selling (yes) penis-shaped lollipops for all to enjoy! Near the shrine dedicated to the phallus, there was a large, rideable wooden penis that people could get pictures with and “mount” – I saw this dad even put his newborn son on there for good luck – poor kid. Of course, there was more normal stuff, like taiko drumming and traditional music, etc. but boy, it was quite a sight to be seen.

In a place as uptight as Japan, it was really a breath of fresh air. To see thousands of people, unabashedly praising male genitalia was certainly a spectacle. Of course, many of the people there were foreigners (how could you resist going!) but overall it was incredibly hilarious and totally worth it.

So I’ll add an addendum to my last entry – if you’re coming for Hanami to Japan, chances are this festival will coincide with it and I highly recommend it. You will never ever ever ever ever see something like this in the United States. And come on, who doesn’t want to see a neon pink penis paraded around by transvestites. It’s the Japanese way.

Jaa mata ne!

Photo Guide: #1 - Bernie and Yoshi at the Izakaya, #2 - Me as Elvis, #3 - Us and our new friends at the park, #4 - The Iron-clad Penis, #5 - (as if it wasn't evident already) The Pink One, #6 - The huge crowds following the Pink Penis down the road.