The Tokyo Train, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Get Crushed Between that Old Lady Muttering to Herself and the Suicidal Businessman

The infamous Japanese train system.The most crowded train system in the world. In fact, during rush hour (around 8AM) there are over a MILLION people per kilometer of track. I figured I'd take an entry to describe in more detail what the train system is like, since it is so different from home, its astounding. Hopefully this will give you a better idea of what its like for me every single day.

On Tuesday and Thursday morning, I have the privilege to ride the train during rush hour, when it’s so incredibly crowded, you can literally hear the train screaming “Okay! I give up guys! You win!”. Luckily, my station is sort of near the beginning of the line so it’s not too crowded at first, but as the train approaches Tokyo, it gets a little nutty. There are times when I’m standing there, getting crushed by the little old lady reading her book and the salarymen with his manga, when we pull up to Hata no dai station that has 15 people lined up to get in the car that I’m thinking to myself, “The laws of physics will NOT allow all of these people to get on the train. The train is going to explode!” and nonetheless, they all get on. Usually, it’s a salaryman that does the grunt work. Usually what happens is the salaryman at the end of the line turns around and walks backward toward the train door. And then he basically shoves everyone in, so that the whole crowd of people pretty much falls back onto each other. When everybody is squeezed in, there’s actually a guy who works for the train company who helps push the door closed because it can barely shut with so many people in the train. I’ve seen people’s wrists get stuck on the door, and the train still goes and only when the train arrives at the next station, can they pull it out.

The sickening thing about the trains is their punctuality. I know by me at home, when Metro-North releases its monthly statistics on what percent of the time the trains were “on time”, 95% is an extraordinary figure. When I mentioned this to my Japanese friend Motoko, she said that if that was the case in Japan, the entire group of conductors would be fired on the spot. You can set your watch by the trains. Not only that, but there are a bunch of other really convenient things they have at the station that should be adopted in America. For instance, they have these LCD screens that show you where the train is in respect to your station, either when its two stations or one station away from yours. There are also little jingles that play at every station whenever a) the train is approaching, b) the train has arrived, and c) when the train’s doors are closing.

The Yamanote line also has these really neat TV screens, one of which has a map of the Yamanote line with all the stops and how many minutes it’ll take to get to each one, plus info on delays, accidents, etc. The other screen mainly has entertaining ads, but also has horoscopes, the weather, news, sports, and “etiquette” lessons. There is also a daily English lesson, which is quite hilarious to the normal English speaker. For instance, last week the lesson taught the phrase “it’s all Greek to me” and all of its uses. I couldn’t help thinking to myself how I’ve never ever used or heard that phrase used in any type of conversation, and picture Japanese businessmen running around saying “It’s all Greek to me!” at any chance they get.

Exiting the train is a whole other game. It’s (unsurprisingly) very difficult to exit the trains when they are packed, because a lot of the people don’t have to get off at your stop and if you are at the opposite door, you need to make your way through the crowd (with a huge backpack in my case) screaming “Orimasu! Orimasu!” (“I’m getting off! I’m getting off!) in order to make it. I wish I had a video camera when the train pulls into Shinagawa station in the morning, one of the busiest stops on the Yamanote line. Usually I’m right in the middle of the pack and don’t really want to get off because I want to get to the other door for the next stop, which is the stop near my school, in order to be physically able to get off the train before the doors close. At Shinagawa, everyone BUT me gets off. So here’s my strategy. I grab on the one of the hanging bars and pretty much hold on for dear life. I kind of liken it holding onto a small stone in a rushing stream – the people pretty much flow right around me as I stand there, trying not to be swept away toward an eminent and messy end. It’s quite a scene.

Another weird culture note. EVERYONE on the trains reads either books or manga. In fact, Japan is the largest retail book market in the world. The weird thing is that everyone, and I mean everyone, who is reading has a little, paper bag cover on the book that hides the front and back covers so no one can see what they are reading. Why? I have no idea. And it’s not just a few people that have it – everyone does. When you buy books at a book store, they actually wrap the book up for you in its cover so you don’t have to do it yourself.

Another sound/sight that I’m going to miss is the sound of hundreds of feet trying to stay upright as they are thrown off balance when the train starts. You just have to accept that you are going to be closer to some stranger than you ever wanted to be in your life. Usually it’s okay. Unless they smell bad. Not fun.

One last, slightly depressing note about the trains. The Sobu and Chuo lines are notoriously famous as the train lines that the businessmen use to jump in front of and commit suicide since they run rapid through a lot of the stations and thus are a quick way to, for lack of a better word, “go”. You also see delays on those lines in the afternoons, which is the most popular time because the salarymen would never think of delaying the trains in the morning when everyone is going to work. To combat this problem, train companies have installed suicide (yes, suicide) doors on the front of the train. Basically, they are these doors that can sense if people are in front of the train and in a matter of milliseconds slam open, causing the person to fall into a little compartment under the train safe from harm. Pretty unreal right? The whole thing would kind of freak me out: expecting to get hit by a train at 60 miles per hour only to wake up in this little room under the train. Only in Japan, friends, only in Japan.

Hopefully that gives you a better insight into how the trains run here. It’s quite a fascinating system and I am really getting spoiled here before I go back to New York. Before the semester’s over, I’m determined to get a picture of the train when its super crowded to show you all what it looks like, because you really don’t understand what I go through until you actually see it.

In other, unrelated news, I have had two meetings with Japanese speaking partners this week (and one tomorrow) as I embark on my quest to speak more Japanese for the last half of the semester. The girl I met with today, Naoko, had me correct one of her essays about Columbus Day today. She was writing about how even though Columbus killed a bunch of Native Americans, he has a holiday that celebrates him, etc. etc. Two funny moments ensued. At one point, I was reading over one of the paragraphs, when out of nowhere, she says in broken English “Genocide…not good!”. Correct, Naoko! Correct indeed! Later on, when I try to have her explain to me what Columbus was like, she goes “Columbus…he was real bastard!” You hit the nail on the head there, Naoko. I was going to propose naming her essay: “Genocide – Not Good. Columbus = Bastard”, but decided against it.

Also, I’m trying to plan a trip with two friends to Phuket, Thailand after the semester is over before my dad comes. The hotel is $40 a night for a four-star single room, which can’t be beat. It’ll be really nice to be able to relax on a beach for a few days! I’ll keep you posted.

Jaa mata ne!